The Ask
LEARN TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED IN AN AFTERNOON
From hinting to asking. From hoping to knowing. From small to seen.
You think you know what you need.
But when you sit down to actually name it? Everything gets fuzzy.
Maybe it's Sunday night, and you're resentful that your partner hasn't offered to help with Monday's chaos. And honestly? You're pissed that you even need to ask. Why don't they just know what you need?!
Or maybe it's your third meeting this week where your boss schedules something during your kid's pickup time, and you finally need to say: "I need flexibility between 2-3pm" or "this doesn't work for me"... but you're scared to look like you can't hack it.
Or maybe it's your best friend who always cancels last minute, and you're tired of rearranging your life. You need to say: "I need to know you're actually coming."
Sound familiar?
The moment you try to say it out loud, something stops you. Your throat closes. Your voice gets small.
Your mind floods with questions: Is this even a real need or am I being selfish? Am I asking for too much? What if they say no?
So you don't ask. And you keep suffering in silence.
Here's what I've learned after fifteen years of coaching: When we struggle with asking for what we need, it's never just one thing. We're unclear on what we actually need, uncertain if what we want is even reasonable to ask for, and have no idea WHAT to say, even if were were to gather the courage to say it.
That's three separate problems. The Ask solves all three.
That's why The Ask doesn't start with scripts. It starts with getting you crystal clear on YOUR truth — not what you think you should want or what other people need from you.
In The Ask, I will walk you through the complete asking ecosystem: how to show up with confidence, how to handle their response, how to tend yourself and the relationship after.
You'll get crystal clear on what you need. You'll build your ask with confidence. And, you'll know exactly how to handle what comes next.
WHAT YOU'LL GET
You can find scripts everywhere. Instagram, TikTok, Reddit threads. But scripts without clarity on what you actually need? They don't work. You end up mid-conversation, frozen, because you don't even know what you're asking for.
The Ask walks you through the complete arc of asking. From the moment you realize you don't know what you need, all the way through the conversation, and into how you care for yourself and the relationship after.
When you sign up, you'll get immediate access to the 12 step-by-step videos, 10-12 minutes each, so you can finish everything in an afternoon or take your time.
PART 1: GET CLARITY (So you actually know what you're asking for)
Before you say a single word, you need to get honest.
Videos 4 - 6 walk you through the three-part clarity framework:
- Get curious about what you're actually feeling (not what you think you should feel)
- Name the stories you're telling yourself about how they'll react
- Get resourced by figuring out what you need to show up with strength and integrity
PART 2: SHOW UP WITH CONFIDENCE (During the actual conversation)
Now you know what you need. Time to say it.
Videos 7 - 9 teach you the framework for how this conversation actually goes:
- How to talk about talking so you're not ambushing them
- How to show up with confidence while staying resourced (even when they get defensive)
- How to actually receive what you asked for without the vulnerability hangover pulling you back
PART 3: TEND TO YOURSELF + THE RELATIONSHIP (After the ask)
Here's what nobody teaches: What happens after you ask is just as important as the ask itself.
Videos 10 - 12 teach you how to:
- Care for yourself if they said no (and get creative about what comes next)
- Learn from what just happened so you do it differently next time
- Deepen your relationship through the ask, not despite it
This is the piece that changes everything. Because asking isn't about winning. It's about building relationships where both people's needs matter.
Plus, you get the complete toolkit:
12 step-by-step video lessons (10-12 minutes each so you can binge the whole thing in an afternoon, or take your time)
12 accompanying micro-workbooks with clarity-building prompts so you figure out exactly what to ask for before you ever open your mouth
Words When You Have None: ready-to-use scripts for your biggest asks with copy-paste language you can adapt to your life
Private podcast feed so you can listen to the lessons whenever you need them (commute, dishes, 2am anxiety spiraling — we've all been there!)
Full PDF workbook with all 12 lessons compiled
BONUS 20-Min Relationship Workshop to watch this with your partner, best friend, or family member you want to work on your asks with
REAL TALK.
Most of us never learned how to ask for what we need. It wasn't taught. We rarely saw it modeled in healthy ways.
Instead, we picked up patterns: hinting, hoping, staying quiet. We learned that having needs was inconvenient. That asking was selfish. That we should just be grateful for whatever we got.
But here's what I know: The moment you finally say the thing that's been sitting in your chest for years out loud, something shifts.
It might seem small to everyone else. A simple "no." A boundary you're setting. A truth you're finally naming. But for you? It's a revolution.
Because you've been carrying it alone. You've been managing their feelings, protecting them from knowing what you actually need. You've been small, so they could be comfortable.
And then you say it. Three sentences. Maybe four. Words that feel terrifying coming out of your mouth because you've never said them before.
And everything changes.
Not because they react the way you feared. Not because the relationship explodes or they leave. But because you finally believe you're worth asking for. You finally trust your own voice. You finally stop abandoning yourself.
That's why I created The Ask.
It's not a 12-week deep dive into why you struggle with this (that's Tend, if you want to go there). It's a practical, fast-moving crash course in how to do it anyway.
One afternoon. 12 videos. Live coaching Q&As with me where you'll watch me troubleshoot real situations so you can see the framework applied to YOUR life. The skills to finally ask for what you've been holding back.
Here's what The Ask actually gives you:
You're not buying a course about asking. You're buying a complete system for transforming how you show up in your relationships.
From clarity to conversation to care.
From "I don't know what I need" to "I know what I need, I know how to ask for it, and I know how to take care of myself and the relationship through the whole thing."
That changes everything.
LAUNCH BONUS: LIVE Q&As WITH MARA
When you buy The Ask during launch (May 24-June 14), you get direct access to me and live coaching during four live weekly Q&A sessions.
Here's the schedule:
Wednesday, May 27 at noon ET
Wednesday, June 10 at noon ET
Wednesday, June 17 at noon ET
Wednesday, June 24 at noon ET
The earlier you buy, the more Q&As you attend. Buy on May 24? You get all four! Buy on June 8? You get three. Buy on June 12? You get two : )
These aren't passive webinars. They're working sessions. You'll watch me troubleshoot real questions from real people in real situations. Even if you don't have a question of your own, you'll learn so much from watching someone else work through theirs. That's where the magic happens... seeing the framework applied to messy, complicated human life.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
INTRO: The Foundation
Video 1: Needs Primer
Learn the difference between feelings, needs, and wants. Most of us get stuck here. We feel something but we don't know what we actually need. This video teaches you how to get curious about your feelings and translate them into real, articulable needs.
Video 2: Things That Don't Get Your Needs Met
Stop mind-reading. Stop assuming. Stop "leading by example" and hoping they figure it out. This is where you learn what you've probably been doing that hasn't worked and why. (Spoiler: You come by it honestly. You learned what you lived.)
Video 3: A Prayer for Reclaiming Your Power
Intention-setting for this work. This is the mindset shift that makes everything else possible: If you want your needs to get met, you have to learn how to ask. This video is part spell, part permission slip.
BEFORE THE ASK: Get Clear
Video 4: What do You Need?
Get honest about what you're actually feeling and what you actually need. We walk through the feelings wheel, then get curious: What would you ask for if you could ask for anything? (Without the self-censorship.) This is where clarity lives.
Video 5: What are you (Really) Afraid of?
Your imagination is running the show right now. You're convinced they're going to react a certain way, leave, get angry, think you're too much. This video teaches you to get curious about those stories, and to recognize that your body's wisdom about their response is yours, not theirs.
Video 6: Crafting a Plan
What do you need in order to ask for what you need with strength and integrity? What tools are you taking into this conversation? This is about resourcing yourself before you ever open your mouth.
DURING THE ASK: Show Up
Video 7: Getting Ready for Your Ask
Hatch a plan for the before, during, and after of the conversation. Learn the big framework of how this conversation could go and how to talk about talking about your needs, so you're not ambushing them.
Video 8: The Ask
How to engage and frame the conversation with confidence. How to resource yourself while you're having the conversation. How to not take the bait when things get uncomfortable or defensive.
Video 9: Receiving What You've Asked For
The hardest part: actually receiving what you asked for. Learn about the vulnerability hangover, that voice that wants you to take it back. Learn about the sting of rejection and how to move through it without collapsing into "I'm not worth it."
AFTER THE ASK: Tend
Video 10: Immediately After The Ask
What to do right after the conversation ends. How to tend a "no" if they don't have capacity. How to get curious and creative about what comes next.
Video 11: After You Let It Simmer
Relationship skill-building. What are you ready, able, and willing to do differently next time? How do you learn from what just happened?
Video 12: Debriefing Your Ask
The debrief conversation. Following back up. This is about deepening the relationship through the ask, not despite it.
PLUS: Your Complete Toolkit
Swipeable Scripts: actual call-and-response language you can use
Mini-Workshop for Couples + Friends: how to have these conversations together
Secret Podcast Feed so you can listen and relearn whenever you need it
BIG LOVE FOR THE ASK
Mara, what you've created is gold! As someone who's been in therapy for nearly a decade and practices yoga, meditation, reads spiritual texts, and all that jazz... what you share in The Ask is brand new to me.
- Maggie G.
The Ask was absolutely amazing! Even before I began the modules, it was very empowering just to hear that asking for things is acceptable, necessary, good, and possible. Just having the class exist helped me feel like I could make more Asks in my life, and then diving into the modules made it a 1000% percent easier. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! - Shae C.
STOP HINTING. START ASKING
JOIN THE ASK — $97
12 videos. 12 worksheets. Ready to use scripts.
Everything you need to say what you've been holding back.
Plus: Four live coaching Q&As with me where you'll see the framework applied to real messy human situations. The earlier you buy, the more sessions you attend. Buy May 24? All four. Buy June 8? Three. Buy June 12? Two!
Cart closes June 14th at midnight ET
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What if I'm not ready for a big transformation?
You don't have to be. This isn't about overhauling your life. It's about learning one specific skill: how to ask for what you need. You can practice with small asks first. Build from there. One script at a time.
What if I can't finish it all at once?
You have lifetime access. Watch one video this week, three next week. Rewatch them whenever. The private podcast means you can listen while doing literally anything else. This isn't a race.
What if I miss one of the live Q&As?
Recordings are saved for all attendees, so you can watch anytime and get the full benefit. You'll see the framework applied to messy and REAL human situations, whether you're watching live or catching the replay.
What if The Ask helps me see deeper patterns I want to work through?
That's exactly what Tend is for. The Ask teaches you how to ask. Tend teaches you why it's been so hard, and helps you build unshakeable self-trust so asking becomes your natural way of being.
Here's the deal: If you take The Ask and then decide you want to go deeper with Tend, I'll give you a $97 tuition credit toward your Tend enrollment. So you're not starting from scratch. You're building on what you've already learned.
THINKING ABOUT TEND?
JOIN THE ASK — $97
The Ask teaches you the how. But there's a deeper layer: the why. That's Tend, my signature 12-week course where you rewire your entire relationship with needs so asking becomes your natural way of being. You learn how to stay by your own side, no matter what.
If you take The Ask and love it, you'll get a $97 tuition credit toward Tend. No extra cost. Just a way to keep building.
But start here. Learn the framework. Use the scripts. Show up to the Q&As. See what shifts.
Cart closes June 14th at midnight ET
Hey there. I’m Mara.
she/her
For so long, I thought the problem was me. That I needed to want less, ask for less, be less.
But here's the truth: The problem isn't having needs. It's believing we shouldn't have them.
I created The Ask because you shouldn't have to spend years learning what should take an afternoon. Your needs matter too much for that.
Your needs matter. Your voice matters. Let's learn how to use it.
With fierce care,
xMara
