What are you (really) hungry for?
That question is at the core of tending to your need for sustenance. This may be a visceral, physical hunger or it might be a spiritual, emotional, or energetic hunger that you are experiencing.
Are you hungry for food, color, inspiration, sensuality, or a greater sense of safety? Are you aching for a job where you can contribute to the world in a way that feels good to you? Do you long to be touched or cherished? Have you been praying for the people in your life to start showing up for you more consistently?
Hunger relates both to the actual desire, and, also, implores you to utilize more creativity in HOW you are taking care of what needs taking care of in your life. This hunger can be less about the thing itself and more about the process of journeying from here to there.
You can lean deeper into this secondary hunger by asking yourself: “How can I make this feel more pleasurable for me? Could I listen to really fun music? Could I make sure to feed myself delicious snacks or brew my favorite cup of tea? Could I get up and dance around for five minutes every so often? Could I put on my favorite outfit, take off my bra, or wear something more brightly colored?”
Tending to your need for sustenance is about showing up for these desires and taking the time to make each experience as enjoyable as possible, because each and every time you offer this generosity to yourself, you reinforce the fledgling belief that you are worth caring for, worth loving, and worth prioritizing.
Choose yourself, even when choosing yourself feels impossible, rebellious, and selfish. Reimagine the purpose of your life - living instead of producing, pleasing yourself instead of seeking external approval or validation.
You don't have to do it all at once. You don't have to make a huge transition or declaration. Tending to yourself - and centering yourself in your own life - is a practice of paying attention and taking the time to be responsive to your needs as they arise. It isn't something reserved for people who are more special, smarter, more well-off, or successful than you. It isn't something you "get" for having "made it." Being well nourished, lit up, and well supported is your birthright.
Books
- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD & Amelia Nagoski, DMA
- You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar
- The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness by Bari Tessler
Practices
Make a plan to feed & hydrate yourself at regular intervals throughout the day.
This is one way to tend to yourself that seems obvious, and, also, so many of us aren’t prioritizing. The way that you feed and hydrate yourself has a HUGE impact on your energetic capacity.
Take time this week to focus on keeping your blood sugar stable by eating at regular intervals over the course of the day. If batch cooking is your style, it can be wonderful to prepare a protein or two, some vegetables, and a grain to mix and match to your heart's content. Or get in the habit of making a double portion of meals to freeze and have on hand.
Like with tending to any need, start with what sounds delicious and nourishing.
Get a jump on your hydration by pouring yourself a glass of water before you continue reading. (Yes, right now. I mean it. Wink.)
What supports your thriving? What is ONE commitment you are ready, able, & willing to make to yourself? How will you (lovingly) keep that commitment?
Often there is one habit that is the lynchpin for sustainable energetic capacity. It might be feeding yourself regularly or hydrating, as in the practice above. Or, it might be getting more consistent rest, which we’ll discuss in the next section. Or… it might be something else for you!
The lynchpin is the thing that when you take care of it routinely, everything else falls into place more easily. Perhaps it’s grocery shopping once a week, journaling first thing in the morning, washing and putting away your laundry on Sundays, or creating a weekly to-do list that keeps you focused.
The key here is to keep it simple and not to overcommit yourself. When done with delicious regularity, ONE thing is plenty. What are you ready to commit to?
Complete a stress cycle daily.
A stress cycle begins with a stressor like navigating conflict in a relationship, receiving harsh feedback, or encountering a trauma trigger, which then activates a physiological response of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze where our heart races, breathing quickens, muscles tense, and our bodies release stress hormones. In nature, we might run away, finding a safe place to rest after such an encounter. This burst of activity followed by rest would complete the stress response cycle, bring it to closure and allow us to recover.
In Burnout (a highly recommended read), the Nagoski sisters outline the detriment that many of us fall into as we ping pong from stressful event to stressful event each day without ever fully completing our stress cycles. Instead of moving through our stress cycle from beginning, middle, and end, we carry these incomplete cycles with us, leading to chronic stress and burnout.
The Nagoskis write, “The good news is that stress is not the problem. It’s how we deal with stress—not what causes it—that releases the stress, completes the cycle, and ultimately, keeps us from burning out. You can’t control every external stressor that comes your way. The goal isn’t to live in a state of perpetual balance and peace and calm; the goal is to move through stress to calm, so that you’re ready for the next stressor, and to move from effort to rest and back again.”
A few of the evidence-based strategies for completing our body's stress cycle are physical activity, creativity, laughing, crying, physical affection, and deep breathing. It doesn’t have to be fancy! Dance around your kitchen, doodle, watch a favorite tv show that cracks you up, hug someone for at least 20 seconds, or pet your dog or cat. Actively choosing to complete a stress cycle each day can have a marked impact on your sense of well-being.
Share your results!
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