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Roost
a yearlong path to radical self-partnership
let me guess...
But what if your turn never comes?
What if no one ever appreciates your incredible efforts or anticipates your needs?
What if no one even knows you need something… unless you learn how to ask for it?
Are you going to keep grinding through your to-do list, hoping someone saves you?
Or, are you going to take self-responsibility and finally feel the joy and care that you’ve deserved your whole damn life?
I really hate to break it to you, but deeply gratifying, gorgeously sustainable nourishment, compassion + self-trust is an inside job.
No amount of performing perfect "self-care" will ever amount to you feeling truly fulfilled and satiated.
No amount of productivity hacks to FINALLY get to the bottom of your to-do list will soothe the urgency you feel to earn other people's approval.
No amount of outsourcing your worthiness will ever, truly, heal the ache and fear that you are not enough.
UNTIL you do the challenging but fruitful work of slowing down and listening for what you most desire, long for, hunger for... and need.
It is possible for you to experience a deep sense of peace, ease, and accomplishment...
But not without doing the vulnerable work of taking responsibility for your needs + your vision for how you want to live.
This is your invitation to stop outsourcing your delight and start showing up for yourself the way that you show up for the people that you care about most.
Welcome to Roost, a yearlong path to radical self-partnership that helps you tune in to your own approval + care, from the inside out, one step at a time.
This is the “sign me up, I don’t need to read any further” section!
Are you finally ready to take responsibility for your satisfaction + center yourself in your life, without dropping everyone + everything that matters to you most?
Do you want to fill your own cup, without abandoning your impact + responsibilities?
Without having to do it alone. Without feeling lost, defeated, or like it's an impossible mission.
Are you ready to commit to healing your relationship with yourself, in good company?
Join Roost, a yearlong incubator for radical self-partnership that helps you source approval from the inside out, one step at a time.
Rebuild your self-trust to know that you’ll have your own back + honor your needs, no matter what is on your plate.
If it seems like I already know you, that’s because I’ve been there.
I was a burnt out social worker putting my needs at the bottom of a very long to-do list in an attempt to prove my worth and serve my community.
I would look in envy at women who put themselves first: the ones who made time to have fun and play (what must THAT be like?!), who’d go to the gym, feed themselves well, and not bury themselves in constant work.
I’d look at these women who gave themselves permission to actually live and enjoy their lives, and I’d think, “Must be nice.”
I’d tell myself, “Once things calm down, I’ll start making myself a priority.”
I believed self-care was for rich people. People with lots of time on their hands. Trophy wives. Women laying in bathtubs eating bon-bons. Other people.
But here’s what I know now:
Underneath the desire to become a better partner and parent, a more competent and pulled-together human...
Beyond the answers I was looking for as I was chasing down diagnosis after diagnosis to tell me what was WRONG with me...
Beyond all the self-help books I read that never seemed to make a difference...
I had a foundational problem of not offering myself the basic respect and daily care that I required in order to thrive.
Here’s what I know to be true:
A better time to show up for yourself is not coming.
A blank week on your Google calendar does not and will not exist.
You do not and will not have a magically clean house, a mind-reading and helpful partner, a non-demanding employer, or quiet, need-free children.
A perfect plan is not going to ride in on a white horse and save you.
Sweet human, it is my distinct honor to shatter the illusions that…
... there is a better time than right this second to take care of yourself
... in order to take better care of yourself, you require expert guidance that you don’t already carry inside of yourself
... taking better care of yourself will be easier when a better time rolls around or when you’ve finally cracked the magic code
The REAL magic code is this… what we pay attention to grows and when we pay attention to ourselves, we are able to stop abandoning ourselves and start flourishing under own own care.
(For real and for good this time.)
The Roost Way: Radical self-responsibility informs responsive self-care, which rebuilds radiant self-trust, and, with time, blooms into real self-love.
If you want a profound benefit of a trustworthy and lusciously robust relationship with yourself, you’ve got to give yourself your own time, energy and attention now and not someday in the future.
But, like, let’s break this way, way down.
What are some of the small steps that help us grow from self-abandonment to self-partnership?
Getting up and going to the bathroom when you have to pee instead of holding out on yourself until you finish just one (or ten) more things.
Standing up and walking over to pour yourself a glass of water every so often during the day.
Saying what you mean and asking for what you need – even when you are acutely aware that the person standing in front of you doesn’t particularly care about what you need or have the capacity to give it to you.
USING the good bath products, relishing the act of pouring them over every square inch of your body instead of waiting for a “special occasion” to use them, only for them to inevitably go rancid.
Noticing that just 15 or 20 minutes of self-attention actually makes a HUGE difference in how you feel (and it doesn’t take a blank week on your calendar or an expensive vacation in another country to make it happen).
Now, you might be reading this list and thinking “well if I really wanted to, I could do those things,” and you’d be right. You absolutely could. And yet, I’m willing to bet that you don’t.
The outer work of tending to your needs might look nourishingly ordinary… but the inner shifts necessary to hold these habits in place? LIFE-ALTERING.
It IS possible for you to...
Say the ‘no’ you’ve been trying to say for 20 years. Finally.
Develop standards for how you want to be treated in your closest relationships and walk away from friends who treat you like shit.
Give yourself permission to rest and take care of yourself after a lifetime of being a professional helper.
Ask your designer to redo the whole website when she’s already worked on it for months (OMG I DID THIS WITH THIS SALES PAGE! It was horrible! But I didn’t die!)
Ask for what you need, even when you suspect the person you ask doesn't have the capacity to meet you in that need.
Take a break even though there are a million things in the world that break your heart.
Not because you’re selfish. Not because you don’t care. But because caring for yourself is THE essential step to make your care work sustainable.
Less taking scraps and not asking for anything. More standards, requests + needs.
When you’re so accustomed to using and exploiting yourself, you have no model for what a relationship could look like without that. What work would look like without that. What parenting would look like without that.
When you’ve never been well, you don’t know you’re not well.
But let me tell you: Over-giving and under-receiving, acutely, is not well.
You get to be well.
Well-tended. Well-loved. Well-resourced. Well-fed.
Once I’ve helped you with the hard work of clearing the space to actually take care of yourself and your needs, I’ll be right there for the next step: helping you figure out what actually lights you up.
Beyond serving others. Beyond giving everything you’ve got.
What do you need?
What delights your soul?
What makes you smile or exhale?
If you don't have the answer to those questions, that’s okay.
Let’s spend a year together so that for the rest of your life, you'll know how to delight, satisfy + approve of yourself, from the inside out.
This, by the way, is not a threat to your belonging. Not really. Those who love you will be better able to meet you and care for you when you know how to meet and care for yourself -- when you know how to instruct them without NEEDING them to do it for you.
Welcome to Roost
Roost is a virtual offering for over-givers to finally, fully, learn how to TRULY love themselves.
Not with thoughts or words, but with consistent steps, day after day, in a community rooted in the belief that it is possible to show up for what matters most without sacrificing your needs.
It is for those of of us who want to feel lit up, again, or for the first time. Radiantly alive. Tuned in. Attentive and responsive without becoming enmeshed. Boundaried – as in I am easily able to honor the edges of my capacity and tell you clearly what I am game for. (And what I am not.)
what you'll get when you join roost
Our work will take us from inside → out, moving from the inner work of understanding + believing to the outer work of doing so you can live with greater intention, nourishment, integrity, and self-love.
12 MONTHS OF GUIDED PRACTICES
Each month, we’ll explore a new topic, focusing on the inner work to do to internalize the practice, the outer work that affects how we show up in the world + finishing with nourishing energy work to support your growth.
SEASONAL VIRTUAL RETREATS
We’ll circle together four times a year for virtual retreats that are filled to the brim with communal celebration, sharing intentions with one another + borrowing from our collective brilliance to brainstorm what's next for you.
LIVE CALLS + GATHERINGS
We’ll gather live four times throughout the month: A workshop on the month's topic, a community care call to practice self care, a Q&A call where you can ask me anything + a co-working call to practice life-care.
A SACRED CIRCLE
Inside the Roost community, you’ll find ample space for you to bring your whole self to this work + a loving circle to lift you up, celebrate your growth + ground you, because permission LOVES company.
ROOST CARE PACKAGE
You will receive a care package from me which includes a bound workbook to guide you through our time together, treats to support you in tending to yourself + a love note to get you ready to dive in.
SUPPORT FOR THE JOURNEY
When you sign up for Roost, you get a YEAR of my support. My best work happens in relationship with you. During our year together, I invite you to ask questions + receiving support from a coach who gets it.
join roost
12-month group
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
*
join roost
plus 1:1 sessions
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
Monthly 1:1 coaching sessions
A few notes for when you say YES:
Roost is a year-long course, not a monthly membership you can cancel at any time. When you sign up, please do so with the intention of being a participant for the duration of 2025.
3% of profits from Roost will go to The Wôpanâak Language Reclamation Project
Limited seats available. Doors close on 10/18 or when program fills.
I know you keep saying, “When things calm down, I’ll figure it out.”
You’re an expert at meeting everyone’s needs but your own.
You’re burning yourself out seeking validation in your relationships, your job, your family, your community, because it is exhausting trying to be everything to everyone.
Your most beloved coping mechanism for dealing with rejection is to try harder, do more, and do it perfectly this time.
You’re thinking that if you could just get your sh*t together, you could finally get to the bottom of your to-do list and get some rest.
You have a hard time implementing the same boundaries for yourself that you advocate for others because underneath it all, you don’t believe you deserve to set boundaries when there is (always) more you could have done.
You resent your partner, your family, your kids, your closest friend for not seeing just how much you are drowning. Why don’t they see you? Why don’t they help you?
You’re holding the entire world together with your two hands. And you’re pretty sure if you take even ONE thing off your plate, it will all fall apart.
I can even picture you sitting down to Google, typing stuff like:
How do I fix my high cortisol? How do I figure out what makes me happy? How do I stop yelling at my kids and be a better partner? Plan to fix ADHD burnout. Is it perimenopause or long covid? What’s the right way to do self-care?
It’s not that you aren’t trying… it’s that the survival skills that created the problem - buckling down + getting to work, exploiting + extracting from yourself, and putting your needs on the back burner - won’t heal you from the impact of taking yourself for granted.
Roost is for...
Roost is the clubhouse for humans who want to dive in and practice alongside me before they feel “ready.” It’s for...
Anxious attachment self-help junkies who are wondering why they still don’t feel good even after all the work they’ve done and books they’ve read.
People who can’t stop wondering “Why am I the way I am?”
The ones scared to ask their partner for what they actually need, but who desperately want to show up more honestly and effectively in their relationships.
Complex thinkers who care about the world. People paying attention who feel like they’re living in a fake environment surrounded by people who wear their burnout like a badge of honor.
People who are more invested in growing deep roots and romanticizing slow living and a simple life.
In Roost, you will find:
Safety for your quirks and deep wounds
Creative tending for your neurodivergence
Heaps of enthusiasm for the fullest expressions of your needs, wants, and preferences
Space dedicated to meeting yourself within the chaos of life at this time on the planet
Roost is Not for...
Humans who aren’t ready to actually show up to this work and get into the muck of it. It is an exploratory and experimental space, created for people who want support in the process of growing from self-abandonment to self-partnership.
People who are committed to their burnout and wearing their busy-ness as a badge of honor (even if that worked for you in the past). This is not about earning 6 figures and biohacking your way to perfection.
Full-blown proponents of patriarchy, capitalism, or structural oppression. Frankly, this is not the place for you if you’re voting for Trump.
People who want to find that “one weird trick” to fix themselves so they can get on to the rest of their to-do list.
People who aren’t interested in self-work. This is not a quick-fix or a one-and-done.
In Roost, I won’t be convincing you that you deserve the care + reverence that you ache for.
You do. Infinitely so. But, it is a waste of my time and yours to dilly dally on the porch if you aren’t ready to walk through the front door.
For this purpose let’s define readiness as 51% hunger to do things differently even if 49% of you is dragging your feet. If that’s you, come on in! The coffee pot is on. Let’s fuck around, find out, break it down, and fuck around some more, with greater intention and alignment.
My role within Roost is to be a mystical companion to your everyday life. Over our year together, I will gently agitate your preconceived notions, draw your truest self forward, and offer my deep love and reverence for your many parts, while sharing my own with an intimacy that I don’t share in other spheres of my work.
Under my care, Roost encourages us all to greater robustness, tender nourishment, and gentle discipline as we focus on what we want, WHY we want it, and how to take steps towards that vision in a way that deeply honors our individual and collective humanity in a sustainable way.
Roost: A Yearlong School for Radical Self-Partnership
These aren’t conversations to have with yourself, all alone, while you cry in the bathroom between meetings or after everyone in your house is asleep. This is work that begs for the kind of conversation and witnessing that is best done in a community of like-minded humans.
The messages coming from the rest of the world are loud. The new messages you’ll be working with in Roost are fortified by the strength of being surrounded by others doing the hard work of showing up for themselves and living life differently.
Each month, we’ll explore a topic together:
JANUARY: Root & Resource
Reclaiming your rightful place in the center of your life + deeply attune to your needs.
FEBRUARY: Grief Tending
Radically expand your vision for what it looks like to be well cared for + honor the grief that arises.
MARCH: Expansion
Develop a new relationship with doing -- one that creates a magical, realist relationship with space + time.
APRIL: Sustainable Growth
Come into right relationship with your burnout by prioritizing by circumstance + desire.
MAY: Values
Carve our space for what you’re longing for + decide what you’re willing to do in order to receive it.
JUNE: Celebration
Lean into delight + pause to celebrate yourself + your life right here, right now.
JULY: Summer Camp
Find joy in the mundane. Create delightful + intentional micro-experiments of JOY, creativity + play.
AUGUST: Summer Break
Drench yourself in pleasure + spend time reconnecting with the brilliant whims your inner child.
SEPTEMBER: Harvest
Become a lap that is safe to crawl into as the season shifts + your needs do, as well.
OCTOBER: Protect
Embody your inner tender steward as you turn towards yourself to honor this season of contraction.
NOVEMBER: Rest
Rest, sweet one. Pare down as an act of love + create a sustainable plan for the rest of the year.
DECEMBER: Nourish
Gently hold everything you’re doing when you aren’t “doing anything” + put the year (lovingly) to bed.
Roost x Monthly 1:1 Sessions
For folks craving more personalized attention and action, this new for 2025 option will make sure you have exactly the knowledge you need to change your orientation from “fix me” to “I trust myself.” In these 1:1 sessions, we can hash all of that out.
While I believe that your participation in Roost will give you everything you need to turn your self-relationship into one of partnership instead of abandonment, folks who would like a little more 1:1 time with me will love this option.
Add on to Roost a monthly 1:1 session with me, where we’ll personalize your self-maintenance routines, troubleshoot where you’re stuck, and answer any and all questions you may have about how this whole self-trust thing actually works.
join roost
12-month group
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
*
join roost
plus 1:1 sessions
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
Monthly 1:1 coaching sessions
Hey there. I’m Mara.
she/her
If you’re new to my orbit, I’m a coach, writer, podcast host, and self-proclaimed World’s Neediest Human. (A title I take seriously.)
I work with humans to live more sustainably, to tend to their needs, to honor their energy cycles and rhythms and to really deepen into their relationship with themselves so they stop abandoning themselves in order to do more, or earn their worth or their approval by some external standard.
You want to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated. (You are not alone in this.)
You can have all of those things. In your relationship with yourself.
In fact, that’s the only reliable source of the attention you’re looking for.
I’ll be frank with you: I used to look at others who embodied their lives as a frontier for play; who didn’t define their worth by their productivity; who owned their role as their ultimate permission + acknowledgement granter, and I’d think, “Must be nice.”
Well, friend. That’s how I live now, and let me tell you: It absolutely is.
Roost is the school + community I wish I’d had when I was a burnt out social worker relegating my needs to the bottom of a very long to-do list in an attempt to prove my worth.
Roost is my answer -- as a queer, femme wife and mother of two young children, recovering control freak, and human functioning in a world rife with racism, late-stage capitalism, a pandemic, and a climate crisis -- for how to live in a way that is infinitely more delicious, satisfying, rich, intentional, and grounded.
One where you are present, regulated, and able to contribute sustainably.
I am on this journey with you. I haven’t arrived. No one does.
I hope you’ll join me.
Frequently Asked Questions:
It takes years to recover from burnout. Not a day. Not a weekend. Not a week. Years.
Roost is about a LIFESTYLE SHIFT, not a bandaid in the form of a cold plunge or a therapy session. It is not an easy fix, and it’s not a one-and-done. But that’s why we do it together.
Life under late-stage capitalism is not sustainable. Period. This work is not meant to take the place of much needed structural change – it does, however, meet you where you are and is designed to support you in living with as much nourishment and integrity as you can.
Speaking of which…
It's not your fault
You didn’t come to this place of burnout on your own. You’ve beat yourself up enough for where you’re at right now; for not living up to society’s faulty expectations; for not being able to do what that other human who has way more capacity than you can.
You’ve tried long enough to be “more impressive.” Hear me loud + clear on this one: You are already impressive.
And… it can feel better.
It is your responsibility
We can’t unilaterally solve the problems that have brewed in society for decades.
Your job is not to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own to earn approval or to prove your worth.
Your job is to take responsibility for your role as the benevolent leader of your energy and bloom into the most fully expressed, beautiful, powerful, and grounded version of yourself possible.
Divesting from external examples of worthiness and success is a hell of a lot easier when you’re doing that healing surrounded by other humans who are also doing life differently.
In Roost, we’ll do a lot of unlearning…
Unlearning diet culture
What you’ve been told: Your body is wrong. Your body is bad. Your body is for others to consume.
What’s actually true for you: Your body’s unique functionality and the experience of living within your own skin.
Unlearning urgency culture
What you’ve been told: Rush, rush rush. Everything is urgent. There is never enough time to do all the things.
What’s actually true for you: Working in tune with your body means soothing your nervous system and practicing regular stress relief so you can respond instead of react.
Unlearning toxic productivity
What you’ve been told: You are what you do and produce.
What’s actually true for you: You are a glorious human being who contains multitudes.
And you’re doing a great fucking job.
If you’re not willing to change; if staying stuck is where you want to be; if you’re not ready, willing, and able to explore a life lived differently… then Roost isn’t right for you.
Your job is not to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own to earn approval or to prove your worth.
Your job is to bloom into the most fully expressed, beautiful, powerful, and grounded version of yourself possible.
Your life is for living. For pleasure. For joy. For rooted contributions. For participating in your chosen communities. For using your precious resources (time, energy, attention, cash) in a way that is in alignment with your values and with the vision for the future that you are actively working to co-create.
Radical change happens when you stop working on yourself + start working with yourself
Throughout your time in Roost, you’ll enter into a relationship with yourself with deep commitment + adoration + CARE + respect…
One that sees you not as a thing to be worked on, but an ecosystem that needs tending to.
It’s not something we’ve ever been taught nor shown. Until now.
Let’s practice, together.
join roost
12-month group
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
*
join roost
plus 1:1 sessions
12 months of weekly content with prompts, practices + rituals to support you in honoring your needs + creating systems of sustainable productivity
Weekly Roost gatherings + private podcast for recordings
Seasonal virtual retreats
Monthly group energy work
Welcome care package 💌
Monthly 1:1 coaching sessions
Roost is about saying
Yes.
Yes to yourself. Yes to the human beneath the many hats you wear each day. Yes to the practices and rituals that sustain you. Yes to your grand plans. Yes to receiving what you ache for. Yes to setting boundaries that protect your energy. Yes to coming home to yourself. Yes to living your life to the fullest.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.