Have you ever felt so entrapped by your day-to-day that it feels like your dreams are being smothered?
That is, if you gave yourself the permission to get in touch with them to begin with.
It might look and sound something like this…
I’m too busy to dream.
I have bills to pay, lunches to make, a house to clean, or a degree to finish up. I’m too busy surviving to even imagine what thriving might look like.
I couldn’t possibly. I have a horrible imagination. I’m just too practical for that kind of dreaming.
I really should _______. I come from a family that always ________. I’ve survived ________.
Once I’ve ______ then I’ll be ready to start living a really fantastic life.
In my line of work, I frequently encounter women who really struggle with the concept of deserving a life where they are able to make the space to even conjure up what kind of life they might like – never mind putting those thoughts and dreams into action.
They say to me: But Mara, even if I could prioritize myself in my daily life, I have no idea what I’d do or what I’d need or who I’d want to be. And, because thinking about that soon becomes overwhelming, they stop before they’ve begun in favor the safe and cozy life that they know – even when they are unhappy.
Now, this isn’t to say that your life needs to be a certain way for you to be happy.
This is to say that when you are living a life that is tailor fit for YOU – you’ve given some thought to what you want and created your life on the foundation of what feels really good, supports your spirit, and is based in highlighting your strengths.
You could be the CEO of a multi-million dollar empire, or you could be an artist who currently spends the majority of her time finger painting with her children.
What you are doing in your life doesn’t matter.
What matters is whether or not what you’re doing lights you up, satisfies you, and leaves you feeling really good when you rest your head on your pillow at night.
And that you really believe that you deserve that.
Sometimes, because of a lack of time or having fallen out of practice, we hide out in our lives, letting things happen to us. We tell ourselves that we are being responsible, or that some things just have to be done. We say life can’t be fun all the time, or someone’s got to pay the bills.
We tell ourselves that the functionality of our every day life depends on our doing things a certain way.
For today, I want to invite you to put gently put down any expectation or rules that you’ve been carrying around about how your life should look.
Today we’re going to survey your heart-scape.
Your heart-scape is the gorgeous make-up of all of your wide-reaching dreams, ambitions, and day-to-day needs.
Your heart-scape might include: dreams that you’ve never said out loud, things that you’ve always told yourself will never happen to you, or thoughts that are exhilarating, exciting or excruciating to admit.
It might conjure images of high thread-count sheets or a hiring someone to detail your car.
You might have a huge desire to write a book or write a limerick telling your sweetheart how grateful you are that they cooked you dinner.
You might be desiring more: movement, adventure, inspiration, trips to the movies, or a budget that had ample room for organic produce.
There is no wrong answer here.
For today:
Curl up with your favorite beverage, a couple large pieces of paper, and a quiet chunk of time. I like 60 minutes, but if you’ve got 30 minutes, you’re still golden. The objective here is to give yourself permission to have some really big and bright ideas.
Ask yourself, what do I really want?
Out of today? Out of this year? Out of my life?
What kind of relationships do I want to have?
What would I still want to do, even if I had a billion dollars in the bank?
What am I here for? How can I serve?
What lights me UP?
Get creative here. Add color if you feel so called, or toss in an image or two. This is your heart-scape.
Once you’re done, keep your notes near by. Sleep with them near your bed. Refer to them often.
Allow those dreams to permeate your everyday – putting a little bounce in your step as you shop for groceries or walk to work. Find small ways to begin embodying your dreams by conjuring them up whenever you need an extra boost or are yearning to remember what you are working for.
“What you are doing in your life doesn’t matter.
What matters is whether or not what you’re doing lights you up, satisfies you, and leaves you feeling really good when you rest your head on your pillow at night.”
Hear! Hear! Beautifully captured and expressed, Mara. Thank you for your inspiration!
This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Everything you have said here are thoughts that I have had over the past year. I truly believe that I am destined for something more than just another office job where I dread going to work everyday. It has taken me a long time to finally accept the fact that I really do deserve a life where I light up and love what I do, and that is why I refuse to give up on my dreams of having a successful business of helping others overcome their eating disorder. Thank you for this post, it really was lovely!
Oh Tayla this is WONDERFUL. What kind of love or support do you need to stoke those dreams and keep the fire burning HOT?
For me, I just need to keep the faith. I need to stop comparing myself to others and focus on what my talents are and stay true to what I do best! <3