Finding Your Why

There are many days when I ask myself why I am doing what I am doing.

Days when I want to give up.

Days when I want to launch face first into a box of cupcakes.

Days when I want to cry and beg someone else to fix it for me, pay for it for me, choose it for me.

Days when I want to cash in and get a job where someone one else can just tell me what to do.

Days when I to be healed, fixed, or transformed at the snap of my fingers.

Days when, instead of throwing in the towel and abandoning myself, I choose to keep going.

I know that there are days when you want to give up, too. 

Or days when you struggle with where to begin, when you feel lost and alone in questioning your worthiness and your capability. 

If you are having one of those moments, I want to tell you this ::

You have to know why you are doing it. You have to know what you’re working towards. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to make sense to you. Your why is what you come back to, again and again, when you stumble or when you want to give up.

Your why is for those moments when you are standing at the brink, fumbling as you create a way out of no way, when your work feels deep like cellular re-patterning.

Your why is motivating because it resonates somewhere deep in your core, urging you forward and lighting you up with possibility.

It is for those moments for when you need to be reminded of who you are.

I want to tell you this, because too many of us are moving through our lives disconnected from ourselves and our divine purpose on the planet. 

And, when we are disconnected, our days feel futile and useless. We wonder why everyone else seems to have it more together than us. We question ourselves, again and again. We are frozen in place, frustrated by our inability to simple do something, as our deepest dreams have adventuring to far off lands, engaging creatively with the world around us, and building things with our hands.

When we are disconnected we find ourselves deeply jealous of those who “get to do all of the things that we’d like to do.”

There is enough excitement, joy, adventure, and love out there for all of us. 

Hungry for some of your own? You have to want it. 

Wanting it is knowing your why. It is digging deep into your purpose, even when it is simply an idea or sensation that you are chasing. It is praying for your life, standing in your  clarity, power, and simplicity.

My why is simple :: I want to feel good. 

Everything that I do, my entire existence on this planet, at this moment, is moving me towards my desire to feel good.

I want to feel good in my body. In my relationships. In my work. In every moment in my day.

Now, “good” doesn’t always mean “pretty” or “pulled together.” Expanding my definition of good is part of my prayer.

Letting good mean messy. Or imperfect.

Letting it mean filled-with-ease.

Letting it mean giving myself permission to change the terms and re-negotiate whenever necessary.

Your why is between you and yourself. It only needs to make sense to you. 

But, you have to have one. You have to know why you are doing something. Why you are moving forward.

Otherwise, it is all to easy to push yourself to the back-burner or to say, well next Tuesday would be ok too.

When you are talking about your life, now – the present moment – is important. Each moment is important. 

Your why is beneath everything you do.

It is the truth that you return to when you come to a crossroads, unable to make a decision.

Which road takes you closer to yourself, closer to your why?

Today, take a moment to sit quietly with yourself. Turn your focus inward, and ask yourself, “What are you all about? What lights you up? How do you want to feel, every day?”

Ask yourself, “What is my why?”

Allow that feeling to unfurl. Let it take root in your life. Return to it, as often as necessary. Enter into conversation with it.

Welcome more of it into your life.

Put one foot in front of the other.