It is our job to tell ourselves the truth about our lives.
It is our job to pause and be present with ourselves. It is our job to evaluate how things went… so that we can do them in a way that is more aligned with our values and desires next time. It is our job to be active participants.
But, it’s not our job to pour hurt and shame on top by making every disappointing situation mean that we are bad people, undeserving, or unworthy.
The last couple of days I’ve noticed that I have been feeling uncomfortable in my body. I have been busy and haven’t paid particularly close attention to feeding myself nourishing food or getting as much rest as I need. I’ve been caring for myself, but I haven’t been surrendering to the fullness of my needs.
So, in this moment of noticing, I have a choice.
I can choose to sit honestly and vulnerably with the truth that I feel uncomfortable and I need to slow things down to pay better attention to how I’m taking care of my body.
Or, I could choose to do what I felt most comfortable doing for many years… which was to slide into a pattern of beating myself up for having been in this place before or tell myself that I’m a failure or “inspire” myself into action through cruel words.
Spoiler alert: I won’t be doing that.
I do not need to make my discomfort mean that there is anything wrong with me whatsoever. It doesn’t mean that I am unworthy of love. It isn’t a character flaw. It isn’t indicative of my work ethic.
So, instead of making my discomfort mean everything, I can simply notice it. I can allow it to work it’s way into my consciousness. I can say to myself, “alright, well if this feels like it’s something that would be important to address right now, what would I like to do about it?” From there, I might choose start moving more. I might pay closer attention to the amount of sugar that I’m consuming. I might block out some extra rest this week, knowing that my choices tend to be healthier when I’m well rested. I might dedicate myself to paying attention to taking really good care.
Reasonable. Rational. Lacking the drama of a project or thing to be fixed.
Because the truth is that being on that swinging pendulum of losing my way and then beating myself didn’t work. It wasn’t effective. It hurt my body. It hurt my feelings. It disempowered me into a place of inaction.
Instead, I will choose speak to myself honestly. I will choose not to make my awareness mean everything. I will choose how to proceed and at what rate.
I will choose this path because I believe that we are trustworthy… but we have to earn our own trust.
Today: take care of yourself. Allow yourself to explore the heavy thing that you’ve been carrying without making it mean everything about who you are as a person. Decide where you want to begin.
Start there.
(And if you get lost again? Give yourself permission to skip the lecture… and save your energy to dedicate to finding your way back.)