Body Love & Radical Self-Responsibility: Holding the Framework

In every sphere of my work, I work with women to delve into deeper and more permissive layers of chasing what lights them up. I stand firm in my belief that we can orient our own personal compass in the direction of desire and trust in it’s guidance.

But… there’s a caveat.

There are moments when we want to hold the framework for ourselves, carrying ourselves through processes that don’t exactly light us up at the moment – in the promise of fireworks later.

And, when we talk about taking supreme care of our bodies this can sometimes be the case.

The moment

Somewhere deep in my heart, I know that it would feel good to get up off this couch right now to walk out into nature, moving my limbs joyfully and taking in the beauty all around me, but… I’m stuck here. Right now, I can’t imagine anything other than the sweet coziness of this couch and the mindless lull of watching a marathon. I tell myself: But it lights me up to sit here! I should just keep doing sitting here and doing nothing. I am just a kind of sedentary person. 

I’m hungry for a(nother) biscuit. I know that it will make me feel sluggish and uncomfortable tomorrow. I know that I’ve been eating biscuits for days and days, but… it just tastes so good! It feels like a celebration! I want to eat it – I’ll deal with making better choices tomorrow.

I’m utterly dehydrated and know that it’s probably a better choice to chug some water rather than have another cup of coffee, but I’ve got work to do. I can’t afford to hydrate right now. I need to drink another cup of coffee to get this project done. I’ll put hydration on the backburner (again). I’ve been doing this for so long, this one day won’t make a difference.

The truth

taking care of your bodySometimes we don’t want to do the things that we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of healthy behaviors using the bright and shiny language of wanting to feel good all the time – making our not wanting to do it mean that it’s not right for us.

But, we don’t always want to do the things that we need to do to take care of ourselves.

I like to think about taking care of myself as if I am taking care of a small child. As the mama, it is my job to hold the framework, even when my child only wants to eat cupcakes, breakfast-lunch-and-dinner. As the mama, it is my job to take sweet care of the child entrusted to my care, even when they don’t know that they need to sleep and are screaming and crying, defiantly resisting their nap. As the mama, taking really good care is my responsibility and privilege.

Holding the framework is different than enforcing a strict plan. It is not the same as marrying ourselves to a schedule or regimen – or a(nother) plan to transform the skin that we’re in. Instead, it is the gentle and loving space of holding long term desires in our hands with instant gratification. Holding the framework is about making space for intention and momentary whims. It is about trusting ourselves to take care of our bodies intentionally, without white knuckling the process.

You don’t need someone else to tell you how to take care of your body. Your body will tell you. But, you have to be open to receiving the information – even when it differs from your plans. The more that you listen to the wisdom dwelling in your skin, the more at home you will feel and the louder that voice will become.

I intend to feed my body the food that truly nourishes me.

I will prepare for this moment in advance of the crashing overwhelm of hunger, when I’m willing to grab anything that is closest to me and shove it in my mouth. I will be thoughtful about the kind of food that makes me feel best, opening myself up to experimentation and simple noticing about what doesn’t help me feel like my best self.

I will be sweet to myself when my brain shouts for french fries, and it is so much louder than my body’s quiet plea for something a bit more substantial. I will be compassionate with myself, holding the framework. I will choose one thing, one area or meal to reclaim, and I will start there. I will allow myself the divine permission of knowing that each moment is a moment to change my mind. I will not feel guilty or pressured into eatings something just because I paid for it or someone cooked it just for me.

I will make food choices that honor my beautiful body and allow me to function comfortably.

I endeavor to move my body – often and joyfully.

I will be the spark, the slight push of inertia that propels me off of the couch and onto the path, knowing that once I start I am going to be so grateful that I am there. I endeavor to be kind to myself, speaking to myself in compassionate tones – Yes it IS hard to begin again when you’ve gotten out of practice. Yes it will feel really good, I promise. Start small. There is no need to overwhelm yourself, but, yes lovely, you do need to start somewhere. I will hold the framework. I will let myself choose.

Knowing that it is my intention to move, I will choose the things that make my heart sing. I will dance to Missy Elliot in the kitchen. I will walk to the beach to go swimming. I will bring my favorite audio book to keep me company.

I will make it my own.

I am honoring my body by finding space for self-care.

I will not listen to the voices that tell me that my current task is too important to pause. I will not listen to the creeping exhaustion that attempts to shuttle me into bed without flossing my teeth. I will remember the squeaky clean feeling of being well prepared and I will recall that I actually do like taking showers.

I will hold the framework. I will keep the time. I will make space. I will keep a quiet, internal list of everything that makes me feel really good. I will pay attention.

I will remember that if I don’t take care of myself first – I won’t be able to take care of anyone else for much longer either.

I want to feel at home in my skin.

The prayer, repeated often. The why. The heartbeat that fuels my desire to make good choices – resonant choices. Choices that are truly about me and my relationship with my body. I will not use my body as an act of rebellion. I will not wield it as my shield to hurt those who have hurt me, knowing all the while that I am truly just hurting myself.

I will cultivate safety. I will pay attention. I will make my home here, in this moment and in this skin.



Rewired: Body Love + Radical Self-Care

The way that we feel about our bodies and IN our own skin is so often the lens through which we view the rest of the world. During this Rewired workshop we will be jamming about learning how to take spectacular care of ourselves by beginning with overwhelm-free, TANGIBLE action. This lesson is steeped in the knowing that when we take care of our physical selves, we are building self-trust, leaning into self-love, and teaching our sweet selves that we are deserving of consistent, loving care.

This workshop is all about honoring your body as it is – in this moment – and learning to appreciate it for all that it provides you on a daily basis.

Scoop up your workshop bundle over here.

What do you need right now?


Figure out what you need + how to meet that need in a way that is deliciously DOABLE, sustainable, and kind. (I pinky promise.)

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