Needy 126: Stop Weaponizing Your Competence & Start Feeling Safe As You Are

What are the things we do to feel safe that ultimately don’t serve our true selves?

Today, I’m sharing my 2023 intention: It is safe to be who & how I am. And I’m reflecting on how often I’ve weaponized my competence to make myself indispensable to others. As well as how doing that disavows my own worth and reinforces the idea that I can make myself “safe” by earning my way into relationships.

Tune in to hear more about…

  • Weaponized incompetence & the things we pretend we can’t do
  • Weaponized competence & the many ways we wield our strengths to earn social capital
  • The illusion of earning “safety” by being good
  • The experience that forced me to receive without giving
  • How our competence robs us of levity & joy
  • The “shoulds” that came up in my book writing process
  • Releasing our fear that we’re not good enough as we are
  • Learning to feel safe enough, even amidst discomfort


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